CARROT CAKE REVIEW No 26 - Agh!! No!!! A Walnut Cake!!!!!

 Holt, Norfolk



I will be kind - I will be kind - I will be kind - I will be kind - I will be kind.  But.......sometimes a café does not make it easy to be kind. So what follows is my very best attempt to be kind.

Hubby and I have during the lock down taken a few longer walks around a country park. This time, because the cafe was now open, we had a coffee and a carrot cake - en plein air. I had no great expectations for either. I was disappointed, nor driven to splutter expletives. But, however, there was something very very wrong about this carrot cake. Quite apart from the cake, which we will come too soon enough, it was the butter cream, it had the most odd flavour. Hubby had the same cake as me and he reliably informs me that the buttercream, rather than being made with butter which its name you would have thought made it obvious what the main ingredient should be, was substituted with baking margarine. Yes, I was shocked too, if not jaw droppingly appalled. Hubby is sure it must have been done purely for reasons of cheapness, because its flavour was truly one of the most awful things I've placed in my mouth in a long time.

When we come, as we do now, to the cake I'm aware that it doesn't get any better I'm afraid. The predominant flavour was of walnuts. The texture was sort of OK ish, but I'd say a carrot had been magically waved over it in a homeopathic ritual. Then a carton of mixed peel was thrown in, because it certainly needed something to bring it textural satisfaction. If I was reviewing a walnut cake then this would be quite a nice walnut cake, with walnut brains decorating its bizarre frosting. But as I'm supposed to be reviewing a carrot cake, which this most certainly is not, I think they should be pleased they got any carrot score at all. What they have got is there purely a reward for effort.

Oh boy, that was difficult, but I hope you are impressed - I kept myself f-----g kind.


CARROT CAKE SCORE - 1/8





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