CARROT CAKE REVIEW No 34 - Don't Try My Patience Ever Again

  Jarrolds Cafe, Letheringsett, Norfolk

My last Carrot Cake Review was way back in July 2022, so just short of three years ago. Going on a diet started the trend away from Carrot Cake Reviews. Also I sensed there was little left to say in this regard, that I had not already ranted and raved about several times over. So why then have I returned to it now? Well, heaven knows.........but here goes.

In our early years of moving to Norfolk, once we'd owned a car, we enthusiastically toured North Norfolk's cafes to establish which were the best ones were. We came to Back To The Garden, a Delicatessen and Cafe on the outskirts of Holt. That first visit was truly bad. The customer service was indifferent. So our coffee and cake arrived after an interminable wait between taking our order and it arriving on our table.The coffee had been so badly burnt its bitterness could've seared your taste buds medium rare. I can't remember what I chose for a cake, but whatever that was apparently was not memorable. This experience meant we assertively struck Back To The Garden off the must go too list. During Covid the cafe closed altogether, only to reopen again a couple of years later, equally as half arsed and slow as before. We mistakenly tried it once again, because we are bloody fools who apparently always live in hope.

Jarrolds, the famous independent department store from Norwich has recently taken over the running of both Deli and Cafe. With spanking new signage and the sort of expanded stock range you'd expect of them. So it went back on the list to revisit to see what changes they've made to the quality of the cafe in particular. Advance publicity, proudly boasted of retaining most of Back To The Garden's existing staff. Now that should have been an early warning signal. Customer Service has always been particularly bad here.

So we turned up and parked as per normal. The entrance was more informally laid out, before you hit the main deli counters. Layout wise, this appeared no different, though the stock was now more thoroughly supplied with local Norfolk provisions. There was a queue for the cafe. It was not fully booked, but the young woman checking the bookings appeared to be not entirely on top of her job, so dilly-dallied. Eventually we were shown to a two person table in the middle of the cavernous barn cafe. After a few minutes pause, they came to take our order. Now those of you who expect me to do the usual rant about Flat Whites that come offered in a range of sizes, well, rest easy your expectant souls. I now drink Oat Lattes. 

From ordering to receiving both coffees and cakes took over twenty minutes. Yeah, twenty whole minutes I'll not get back. I had all on to stop Hubby from walking out at one point. But I knew then and there that they'd have to pull a brilliant cake out of the bag to save this visit. Now the Oat Latte, was actually rather a good one. Oat Latte's have a tendency to become overly creamy, which can overwhelm the coffee flavour. Its a flavour sensation a bit like condensed milk. But this Oat Latte was finely balanced. So at the very least we can say - they've improved the coffee offering. Those coffees, however, arrived five minutes before the cakes. What the hell are these people doing with all their time?  And as the waitress finally served us our drinks she spilt some of Hubby's Mokka into the saucer. And said 'Sorry...I didn't spill too much of it'. whilst proffering Hubby a serviette to mop up her spillage with, which apparently was now his responsibility. But by the time the cakes did arrive the coffees were beginning to cool. Hubby had a brownie which was apparently quite a good one, but not remarkable enough to salvage our goodwill, which was now irrevocably lost.

The Carrot & Pecan Cake was a hefty wedge, but god was it pallid. As pale as a white supremacist trapped in fridge. This was not a good sign, my heart sank precipitously. I prepared myself for a painful confectionery experience. After a period of abstinence, my first carrot cake in three years was going to be shit with a capital Sh. It had a pertly positioned pecan nut on an ungenerously thin frosting that was poorly mixed. So once it hit the tongue you could sense its still half granular nature. The cake itself was more than a tad dry, which was not by far its worst sin. Was this a spice cake? You may well conjecture. Well, no, because there was only a homeopathic level, nay a mere waft, of cinnamon detectable in the after taste. So not a Spice Cake then. There was a light smattering of pecan nut in the cake mix, though hardly enough to engender a positive affect upon either flavour or texture. Was there any carrot in this cake at all? Hubby and I played spot the grated carrot strand, and thought we could verify only one small residual fragment. It's worth asking, because this cake was far too light in colour and texture for it to be anything other than a Sponge Cake. Yeah, an effin Sponge Cake. 

The Carrot Cake Score is simply in recognition of their tremendous gall, at even daring to call this a Carrot Cake. I'm being really generous here, I hope you recognise.

CARROT CAKE SCORE - Half a Carrot / 8